Why can’t I keep a boy? I know like seven off of the top of my head that have it really bad for me. Why can’t I be with one of them? I mean sure they are my friends and they are in my life, but why don’t they mean something to me in that way? i see what i am doing to them and i see how I am hurting them left and right and I see how they would do ANYTHING for me. But for some reason i just dont want any part of it. They deserve better than that. They all do. i feel like they like the idea of me. They like the thought of my ‘i dont give a shit’ attitude and my curly hair and blue eyes. They thrive on the idea of calling me their own but when it comes down to it. I am just another idea in their tiny brains. They don’t really care for me. i mean they think that they do but when it really comes down to it. i dont mean anything to them.